Who I Am

I am the child I once was –
	alone and lonely and defenseless
		easy prey
	hungry for love and affection and protection
		finding instead lust and abuse
			innocence and purity stripped away
			will subdued by fear
			voice silenced by shame.

I am the teenager who emerged – 
	alone and lonely and angry
		rebellious
	hungry for love and affection and protection
		finding instead lust and heartache
			demanding my own angry will be done
			building impenetrable walls
				to hide the shame inside
			fleeing to self-destruction.

I am the adult scarred by life – 
	alone and lonely and abandoned 
		surrounded by my own failure and sin 
			and the pain of those I love
		shame and fear
		lust and anger
		walls and self-destruction.

God the Father takes the child into His arms with Steadfast Love, Never-ending;
        He hides me like the mother hen gathering her chicks under her wings.
The Sovereign LORD wrestles the angry teenager;
	He promises vengeance on my attackers.
Jesus my Savior comes to scarred adult with His own scarred hands and feet,
	Having drunk the cup of God’s wrath in my place, 
	Taking my sin and shame.
Creator God walks through my walls,
        Bringing healing to my wounded heart, 
        Peace to my soul.
He is Parent and King and Husband, 
        Who will never leave or abandon,
	Who invites me to abide with Him forever.


©Rebecca A Givens, 12/15/2017

 

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2 thoughts on “Who I Am

  1. this is beautifully, honestly written, and while it’s so hard to read, i appreciate so much the perspective as you’ve grown through these experiences.

    Like

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